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Thu, Nov. 18th, 2010, 02:33 am
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Thu, Oct. 26th, 2006, 01:17 am
chocobotkid: call for submissions

It's a mega-zine, a ONE TIME issue on Mothering and Mental Health:
-How do you do it?
-Making it
-Meds/No Meds
-Support
-Alternatives
-Getting through the day
-Deep corners of depression/Embarrasing the kids with your mania
-Comfort food/shopping therapy etc...
-Sleep/insomnia
-On being "normal"
-Recipies for destruction/creativity
-Dealing with mentally ill parents
-Crisis management
-The back up plan/Emergencies
-Hospitalization
-One day at a time
-Coping with you for partners/coping with partners/family
-Activism
-PPDS
-Pregnacy: meds or no meds? what was your experience?

Get it off your chest (I'll even publish anonymous submissions).
Deadline December 15 2006
Email submissions and queries to Lindsey at chocobotkid at hotmail dot com

Thu, Aug. 17th, 2006, 09:35 pm
chocobotkid: mamarama zine

Hello ladies,
I am well aware that this group is pretty dead. but i am in a serious funk, it's bad.
so, i need to do something. one step at a time. i need a goal. so i want to try my hand (again) at zinemaking.
i am looking for art, photos, collages, writing, poems, comfort food recipies. ANYTHING about being depressed, bi-polar, manic etc... mothering with mental illness.
cause right now, i feel like a failure, a shit mom, and i need to write to stay alive right now. and you too. i need y'all to help me by submitting stories, art or anything at all in relation to your mental health and motherhood. you can be on meds, not medicated, no judgments. i just want to spread the word that we can do it. cause we ARE doing it. as rough as it can get.
one piece i'd love to include would be an IM conversation/interview between myself and anyone interested. we can have a dialogue, less an interview, more  like talking about daily shit and how we cope.
please please send me stuff. if you contirbute, you will get a copy.

linds

chocobotkid at hotmail dot com

Tue, Jun. 6th, 2006, 12:08 am
chocobotkid: (no subject)

i posted in my normal LJ the other day, but i forgot that it might be good for me to post over here.
so, i was off my meds for a while. the original plan this last go round of evil depression in february was to go on the xyprexa and zoloft for 6-8 weeks. i got the vertigo inner ear problem and tongue thrust from the zyprexa so we stopped that. i was still on the zoloft for 6 weeks or so. and i remain on the ativan nightly.
anyhow, since april-mayish, probably right around when i stopped the zoloft i have been having really terrible anger issues.
i always have had issues with my rage, but this has been worse and much more intense these past few weeks.
finally jared couldn't take it anymore, me snapping at him all the time. raging, the constant anger. and him feeling as though he had to walk on egg shells around me. (i feel so terrible that he was feeling so awful!) we had it all come to a head last weekend. i was picking a fight again and jared just said "no. don't pick a fight with me, i don't want to fight right now." i first was furious, went silent and dropped him off at work without a word. didn't speak to him until the next evening when he came and said "ok, this is a problem, do you want to talk about it".
by this point i was so depressed and lost, not angry anymore. i started crying and blubbered for several hours about how worthless i was feeling and about feeling in myself, being aware of the anger and behavior i have had these past few weeks. totally aware of it, but couldn't do anything about it. everythihng was just coming out all wrong all the time. and each time it made me feel so awful.
well, finally i calmed down and we discussed that i need to acknowledge my anger problem. and i do.
together we went to the doctor's on the monday and explained the issue and what we had come to that weekend. i am now back on the zoloft, feeling much better already, and am going to go back to the jewish family services for therapy. jared also agreed to do some couples sessions.
i feel like i am able to step back and address things in a calmer tone, not snapping angrily for no reason. i don't feel so constantly pissy/pissed off. cause i'm not.
it's a huge relief.
sometimes even when i see how my moods are affecting me and the relationships i have, i need someone else to sit me down and talk to me about it. like i see it but as though i'm mesmerized by a trainwreck i can't seem to control it. that's it completely: it's out of control.
also i am excited that soon we'll be in NYC where i always feel grounded, in a weird way.
the icarus project has weekly group meetings, and i am excited to go there and meet other bi-polar artsy fucks like me! i don't really know anyone in real life that is bi-polar. i sorta know one person, and another i'm not sure if they are. i used to be friends with my jr/snr high school friend's brother is bi-polar, but we've been out of touch for 10 years.
when i come back home in july i'm going to seek out a group. there must be one. granted if i had a psychiatrist i'd probably know about one.
anyhow, life is looking up.
NYC is gonna rock!
i feel ok being back on meds.

Sun, Mar. 5th, 2006, 02:43 am
chocobotkid: (no subject)

my doctor took me off the zyprexa and lower my zoloft to 50mg/day. i feel way better now. my balance is back and i don't seem to be vibrating anymore. this is good.
school was good, it was a nice thing to get back. and i went back to the video store, that is good too.
harper is hyper-sensitive to me still. she is being extremely whiney and clingy. so dramatic always moaning about her tummy or her 'headache'. i hope i haven't created a hypocondriac.

Sat, Mar. 4th, 2006, 09:20 pm
__serpentine__: Miss Choco invited me here...

I hope it's all okay... I've never been diagnosed as bi-polar, but I have several other diagonisis that keep me manic and give me a voice I think might work here (GAD with Panic Disorder, PTSD, Agoraphobia and depression- ta da!)

Anyway, after taking a four month haitus to try the natural route, I'm offically back on meds today... Lexapro (with five ativan in case I experience awful side effects like I did with Celexa- so far so good, just really spacey)

Anway- I joined this forum for people with panic disorders, don't really feel a groove there and am really looking for other mamas who deal with this shit because it's hard anyway, but having a kid and doing this scares the shit out of me and I could really use the support...

I'm usually more articulate than this, just a bit weird today....

Heart,

Angela

Wed, Mar. 1st, 2006, 02:22 am
chocobotkid: (no subject)

i'm having some serious adverse effects from the zoloft (?) me thinks. i see doctor tommorow, so we'll see. i want my ativan back. argh.
i want a different anti-depressant. i want off zyprexa. but if i have to stay on a mood stabilizer i'll try topomax, cause i hear it's a good treatment for migraines...which i also get weekly.
my body sucks. but life is not to bad.
well february is over!

Wed, Feb. 22nd, 2006, 03:49 pm
chocobotkid: roll call

manic mama roll call

hello, lindsey in edmonton here.
27yr old bipolar mama to almost 5 yr old harper here, coming out of depression.
150mg of zoloft
2.5 mg zyprexa

Sun, Jan. 29th, 2006, 09:12 pm
chocobotkid: (no subject)

i am having a serious downward spiral. where's my mania? everything is setting me off. crying. don't really feel like talking.

Fri, Dec. 16th, 2005, 03:17 pm
sugarmama2005: (no subject)

I do not like this even keel w/ meds. Where is my mania?

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